Where Have All The Bumper Stickers Gone?
Posted: Wednesday, May 06, 2009
by Michael Ramzy
delusionthread.com
Another beautiful day in Texas and I had the pleasure of driving to Dripping Springs, a small
(very small) town about 30 miles southwest of Austin. Of course it was for work, yet the drive was nice and the countryside is beautiful, rolling hills for as far as the eye can see. Yes, we have hills here in Texas, strange though that might sound. And since many here in Texas think this is a country outside of the United States, there is a name for this hilly terrain. That's right, you guessed it: the Hill Country.
Anyway, as mentioned the drive was wonderful and tonight on my way home I noticed the absence of bumper stickers. There were a few, which I'll get to in a moment, yet for the most part there were clean bumpers and backs of cars. I wondered about it, then realized I have been seeing less and less for awhile now.
Some of those I did see tonight (there are five) are as follows:
Obama
This is a given, since he is the president. No real surprise here, yet I remember the ramp-up to the election and how every car was plastered with either O (which, strangely, reminded me of Oprah) or Yes We Can. Since the election, though, I guess many people simply removed the stickers. No biggie. I guess.
Don't Blame Me I Voted For The American
This one is obviously a reference to the rumors (mostly on the internet) of Obama's birth certificate fiasco (or forgery, depending on who you ask). I know there are some out there who think he is alien, regardless of the evidence to the contrary. By alien I mean alien, from another planet or galaxy, not illegal alien.
Although, I imagine an alien from Jupiter could be considered an illegal alien.
Legalize Gay
This one is directed to Texas, of course, since sodomy is still illegal in this state. I think. Also probably directed to every southern state since they, unlike Vermont, Iowa, and a couple of others, have not fallen for the 'gay rights equals civil rights' debate. I use the word debate here very loosely since I don't know how a sexual choice prevented someone from eating at a lunch counter or using a restroom, but that might just be me. I have tried to have people explain it to me, and usually my blank look after the explanation is followed by this: "you just don't get it". No, I guess not.
We The People Don't Have A Clue
This one I liked because it seems so true. I laughed when I read it, then realized it's not really very funny.
My Dog Is Smarter Than Your Honor Student
This is directed at those old stickers that said, 'my son/daughter is an honor student at some school'. This made me laugh too, because it is not true. I know this because I have two dogs and they are not smart at all. Oh sure, they come when I call and look at me when I talk with them, but they aren't really smart.
For example, they couldn't find America on a map. Wait, I know, neither can a lot of students. Okay, maybe that's not a good example.
They can't do simple math. Wait, I know what you're going to say: neither can a lot of students.
They can't . . . well . . . oh, never mind!
The point here is the absence of bumper stickers. Sure, some are still around. The oldies, like 'Save The Planet', usually on an eco-friendly contraption spewing smoke and oil, are still here, but for the most part people seemed to have passed on stickers. Maybe it's a good thing.
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Top-level comments on this article: (5 total)"Nuke the whales" used to be a favorite. I generally like the Obama stickers, they are empowering.Wow, Nuke The Whales? I haven't seen that one.Thanks for reading.
Hi Michael, My bumper sticker says, "Honk if I'm paying your mortgage!"...actually, I haven't put it on yet!Kind of like 'Honk if I'm paying your taxes'. I wonder what kind of response you'll get when you put it on. Thanks for the comment.
I've seen quite a few Dallas Cowboy stickers, window and bumper, that say F**K the haters, especially here in the RGV. I am certain your dog and mine are smarter than those folks!Good stuff here, Michael.As far as street smarts, I agree. And I could probably teach them basic math, now that I think of it. Thanks for reading and commenting.
Great article. Well done.I have a great one - as I'm a maths geek.It reads: Calculus and alcohol don't mix. NEVER DRINK & DERRIVE.Do you like?Very clever! That's one of the few I would actually put on my truck! Nicely done.
Mike,How about the oldie but goodie, insightful and profound "S___ Happens" That, my friend, is genius!That is genius, and a concise way to explain many things in this wonderful world of ours. Thanks!
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