I Am On Earth
Posted: Thursday, October 08, 2009
by Michael Ramzy
delusionthread.com
Another beautiful day in America and I find myself at work listening to a woman explain why one of the trees in our parking lot is dying.
"It needs water. Lots more water," she says to me, pointing to the tree from inside the store.
"It gets lots of water," I return. "There are two sprinklers dedicated to that particular tree."
"We're kind of in a water restriction here, ma'am," I tell her. "I can't just hose 'er down whenever the mood strikes me."
She turns to me and gives me the once-over, pretty much the same look I get from hundreds of customers at the pharmacy on a daily basis. "No one likes a smart-alec."
"Of course not," I reply. "I was just making a point."
"You should be watering that poor thing," she says, turning back to the tree. "It looks dead."
"It is alive, though," I say. "It's a pretty big tree, it'll be all right." It is actually a giant tree, a great oak that sits smack dab in the middle of the parking lot. We built the store around it.
"Big things die, too," she says.
"I know," I agree. "The Dodo bird was huge, but died. Too big to fly, I guess."
She gives me another look.
"Ma'am," I continue, moving away from her. "If there's nothing else?"
I really did have other things to do than discuss this tree with this woman. She seemed nice enough, but . . . geez, come on. How many customers would complain about a tree in the parking lot?
"Actually, there is something else."
"Yes?"
"When are you going to do away with your sign?" She looked at me as though I just didn't get it. In fact, I didn't get it, didn't have a clue.
"Sign?"
"Yes!" she hissed. "That big thing on the side of the building. Uses too much electricity."
"Right," I said, moving another step away. "Well, I don't think we can do anything about that, ma'am. I mean, how would people know who we are?"
"Too much electricity," she repeated.
"We only turn it on at night," I offered helpfully. "So we're really not -"
"The planet's dying, and it's because of people like you." She looked right at me as if when I wasn't at work I was burning holes in the ozone, melting glaciers and killing polar bears.
"People like me?" I asked sheepishly. "Really, ma'am, I don't think -"
"No, you don't think. You don't even care."
"Actually, I do care, ma'am. I just don't understand how I can help you today."
"Turn off your electricity."
"The sign is off, ma'am."
"No, I mean for the whole store." She was serious, too.
"Um . . . I can't do that."
"You can't? Or you won't?" She gave me another look. "Don't you know about global warming?"
"Sure," I said. "Warming, Cooling, Rotating . . . I've heard of all of them."
Another look.
"Seriously, ma'am, there is nothing I can do to help you with this." She looked at me for a moment, shook her head, then walked out of the store. As she was leaving I heard this:
"Some people . . ."
I watched her walk to her car (yes, she had a car - a beat-up old Toyota), get in, then drive across the street to the supermarket. I can only imagine her conversation with the manager there. Actually, I don't have to imagine it: I just had it.
Watching her drive across the street, I thought how glad I am to be in America. How glad I am to be here on planet Earth. My only wish is that some of the customers I come in contact with also resided here.
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Top-level comments on this article: (9 total)hi mike,maybe ther's a deep seated reason why you want to be abused? :)i give you a lot of credit. trying to be as nice as possible to every employee of any store, company, restaurant, etc. is an impossible feat. there's always going to be some who are unhappy and share their feelings negatively. again, that's why i try to be myself, and be nice to all.AND...wacko women can sometimes fool motor vehicle and get a license.the tree was a bit much.thanks for sharing,my best,sueThis customer apparently does this often, harasses (maybe too strong a word) the staff over things that are . . . well, outside of their perview. I just shake my head and laugh, and wonder about the mentality. Gotta be loads of meds, right? Thanks for reading and commenting.
If this was a true story - oh, my.... if this was fictionalized to make a point you did well and whatever the case made me smale and shake my head....Thanks for writing this one! MarijoAs true as true can be, Marijo. Austin is well known for its . . . um . . . eccentric population. Thanks for reading.
Great stuff, Michael!!I thought for sure she was going to fire up a Gi-Normous SUV or Hummer!Thanks, Ken. When I saw her drive off I thought of all of those with beat-up gas-guzzlers (not Al Gore's jet!) who have bumper stickers decrying the state of the planet. Thanks for reading and commenting.
Mike,At some time or another, we've all been on both ends of this story. We've either seen others as clueless or others have seen us in the same light. Open Mindedness 101 is not taught in our schools, sadly enough. It takes an intelligent, disciplined mind to see things from a not so myopic perspective. Unfortunately, there's not a lot of people like you out there. This is one of my pet peeves regarding education that we should be teaching more practicle, useful, day-to-day knowledge, skills, and attitudes. Quite lacking on the latter two. And even the knowledge is that which few of us use on a regular basis. Thanks for the insight, as usual.And thank you. Common sense is what it all boils down to, and I really think we would be stunned to see how little common sense is out there. It might be lack of education, or our heavily-medicated society, but the bottom line is people these days seem to be a little more . . . off. Thanks as always for reading and commenting.
It takes all kinds to make a world Mike, I'm sure you've heard that before.You are absolutely right. Oddly enough, she made my day. Thanks for reading and the comment.
Hi Mike.As always, you covered very interesting issues. Great article! I have been a Customer Service Person for so long that I can place myself talking to this particular woman. I thought, she is taking a bus instead of driving a car, if she was so concerned about saving the earth, but again, she just want to complain. Good day Mike.Best to you and yours,Nenita of Providence, RIThanks for reading and commenting. I thought too she would take the bus, yet still, there are many who are fervently into protecting the environment and drive gas-busters. Doesn't make sense, I know, but c'est la vivre.
I'm all for saving the planet but that woman was ridiculous. It's people like her that remind us just how sane we really are. Thanks for sharing your story with us Michael. Oh and I commend you on your patience. :)People such as her give environmentalists a bad name, without a doubt. I get patience from realizing there are many strange people in this world, and rather than try to figure them all out I just take 'em one at a time. Thanks for reading and commenting.
Good article. I enjoyed it very much.Thanks. I appreciate the comment.
Well done piece Michael. As with other issues and causes, one may possess a just position, while simultaneously being possessed by a wrong disposition. It is sad, in my opinion, to have the foundations of a good moral stance on an issue, for then it then to get lost in wrong attitudes and behavior. Such is what I've gleaned from the individual of which you wrote about in this piece.On a final note .... it was hilarious! I know you said you didn't write it to be funny, but I laughed. Not a derisive laugh, but a classic comedy-George Burns & Gracie Allen-Jack Benny- type laugh. Well you have once again managed to highlight serious issues through the prism of the everyday & mundane and with a touch of humor. Thanks Michael for sharing.Thanks as always for reading and commenting. For some reason I always seem to find the humor in testy situations. Perhaps because of everything to think and wonder about in this entire, endless universe, one customer can't really ruin my day. And yes, you're right about the disposition: many have wonderful causes which get muddled because of the way of their 'protest', or disposition. Thanks again.
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