You're Still Practicing Law? Aren't You Good Yet?
Posted: Tuesday, November 03, 2009
by Michael Ramzy
delusionthread.com
Another great day in America and as I was shopping the other day at the supermarket and saw all of those tabloids at the checkout counter, I came to a realization. It hit me suddenly and squarely in the middle of my middling brain, which means I filed it away for future use.
Which actually means I forgot about it until today.
So. We Americans love our gossip and we love our language, and my realization is that we can be fooled quite often and we truly love it. By fooled I don't mean as in politics, where it seems we still can't understand why we vote for the same people. Fooled as in the words we use. Perhaps we don't know any better (we do, of course, but let's pretend I have a point here), or perhaps certain phrases are told so often we believe them to be true and correct.
1) "I could care less." What you are actually saying is that you really could care less, but don't. For example, if someone tells me Brad and Angelina are breaking up and I say "I could care less", that really makes no sense. I should say, "I couldn't care less than I do", which tells the informative person with the news of Brad and Angelina that there is no way I could care any less.
2) I met a lawyer awhile ago (I know, kind of like saying 'I saw a UFO awhile ago') and I asked him what he did for a living. He said he was a lawyer, and I asked him what kind. He informed me this: "I practice corporate law." Of course, without missing a beat, I offered this: "You still practice? Aren't you good yet?" Imagine if you are a truck driver and someone asks what you do. "I practice driving" is not something you want to hear from someone you share the road with.
3) "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush". This is a very old saying, from biblical times, yet for the life of me I can't imagine anyone using this saying in the past few hundred years. Of course, I know it's a way of saying be grateful for what you have and don't dwell on what you don't have, but that would spoil my argument.
Anyway, imagine if you will you are driving along with a passenger and the light up ahead turns yellow. Being a careful driver, you slow down and stop as the light turns red (I have to imagine this actually happening since here in Austin drivers are required to carry three items at all times: license, proof of insurance, and a blindfold). Your passenger tells you stopping for the light will make you late, and you respond with this witticism: "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush." Your passenger, having heard that saying before, nods and agrees. Both of you, in this instance, used a phrase without understanding the meaning but just because it seemed like something to say at the time. And both of you nod with the knowledge you have no idea what either of you is talking about.
4) "The latest polls show . . ." This one has been around since the American Revolution, and we Americans buy into this saying hook, line and sinker (another old saying!). I can quote a poll and list it here on Searchwarp saying 4 out of 5 dentists recommend a particular brand of gum, and people will believe it. Why? Dentists are believable. The same goes with politics. I could say 70% of Americans believe Congress is useless, and people will believe it. But, what does that mean of the other 30% and what they believe? That Congress is doing a great job? No. That Congress is running roughshod (another saying!) over the rights of Americans? No. The polls don't say, and so we the people come to the conclusion that 30% thinks Congress is okay. Not so great, you say, and you may be right. But remember this: If you can hit a Major League fastball 30% of the time, you are guaranteed entry into the Hall of Fame.
So. We use the sayings we grew up with, we repeat sayings we think are right and true and meaningful, and yet we have to remember to be careful: someone, somewhere, might catch on that we really don't know what we think we know. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but someday . . .
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Top-level comments on this article: (8 total)I like you article Mike, I just submitted a new article with another old saying. it's titled "turning over a new leaf"Thanks. I just started rambling after realizing I didn't want to write about our (nation's) addiction to trashy tabloids. Thanks for reading and commenting.
Great article Mike. Don't underestimate, however, how difficult it is to hit that fastball even 30% of the time! Take care.I know, even the revered Yankees are having trouble these days! Still, 30% of anything isn't too great . . . except in baseball. Thanks for reading and the comment.
I liked the article and the comments. Amusing but I'll catch you on the flip side.Nice! Thanks very much.
Great article Michael. "A penny earned is a penny spent." (Did I get that right?)Or, as they say these days, 'a penny saved is a penny lost'. Thanks for reading and commenting.
Hi Michael.Great food for thought. I've caught myself on occasion using one of those sorts of sayings and wondering just what I really meant. :) My husband can always tell when this happens by the suddenly perplexed look on my face and my ineffectual attempts at clarifying.How you think effects what you say and what you say effects how you think. As you say, we'd do well to remember that.Thanks for sharing your thoughts,DianneThanks so much for reading and commenting. I too use sayings sometimes without thought, only to think 'Huh?' afterward.
Great stuff here, Michael."Running rough shod?" Does that refer to a horse, and, if so, how would it be better to be run over by a "smooth shod" beast?Pondering, pondering ...I too ponder. I mean running roughshod to be treating extra-harshly, although if I was to be run over, I would hope it would be by a smooth-shod beast.Having said that, an elephant wearing tennis shoes is smooth-shod, and that would probably hurt . . . thanks for reading and commenting, of course.
Thank you Michael! I thought I was the only person who was bothered everytime I heard anyone say "I could care less." You're right, they should say "I couldn't care less." Drives me nuts!Me too. Usually when I hear it I say, 'really? Then you care a lot?' Thanks for reading and commenting.
Great article, Michael, and very well written. I like the 'practicing law'---makes me think (and worry) about those who 'practice' medicine!SandraI know, I never understood the practicing law thing. I mean, sounds plausable, I guess. But to an average guy like me, makes me think of 'practicing driving' and, as you said, 'practicing medicine.' Thanks for the comments.
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