How To Destroy The Planet In One Easy Evening
Posted: Monday, November 16, 2009
by Michael Ramzy
delusionthread.com
There are many ways to destroy Earth. One way, of course, is by Mutually Assured (nuclear) Destruction (MAD). That seems to have gone the way of the Cold War, although there are still several unaccounted for nukes out there our friends in the Middle East would love to send our way.
Another way is for us to do it to ourselves: that is, continue as we are and let all of those plastic bags and empty water bottles build up to create a Plastic Planet, which would of course create greenhouse gases, which would cause all life to cease.
The best way, though, is to have the sun send out giant solar flares and neutrinos which bombard our Earth and heat the core. This would cause the inner core to heat and send the tectonic plates, on which our countries reside, into a kind of mass-shift. This would cause the magnetic field to reverse (it wouldn't, but follow me here: there is a point) and giant tsunamis to engulf the planet.
That would be horrifying, of course. And yet, to see it happen is probably something you would never forget. This is exactly what happened last night as I went to see 2012, the latest (and probably last) disaster movie.
The hype around this movie centered around the Mayan prophesies about the end of everything on December 21, 2012, yet the movie barely makes mention of it. Good thing, too, since we all know (I use the term 'we' loosely since there are some flatlanders who swear Everything Will End on that date) the Mayans never really predicted that, just as they couldn't even predict their own demise at the hands of the Spanish.
Instead, the movie centers around a natural catastophe involving solar flares, plate tectonics, and good old-fashioned mayhem. I won't go into specifics since I cannot describe the movie beyond one word: Wow! This is what the big screen was invented for.
Sure, we all love movies that make us weep, and movies that make us think, but there is nothing like watching Yellowstone Park erupt into a giant fireball, nothing like watching huge chunks (and I mean huge) of California slide into the rising ocean, and there is absolutely nothing like watching tidal waves wash over the tallest peaks on the planet.
Sure, it is all special-effects. Sure, the story (John Cusack as Indiana Jones?) is lame at best. But this is what movies are supposed to be: eye-popping, jaw-dropping, popcorn-eating fare. This isn't the best movie of the year, or even of the month (Planet 51 looks hilarious), yet you will never see another effects-driven movie that will actually take your breath away.
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Top-level comments on this article: (5 total)Hey Mike,I'm going to go see the movie for sure now after reading your review. I especially liked your line on the Mayans not being able to see their own demise at the hand of the Spanish and that unruly customers and some Austin drivers would survive if the world ever came to an end. Well written piece that also was funny.StevePS-- Just read your bio and the part about wanting to relate/learn about people and going to work at Dennys for that insight and then your comment of... oops. Hilarious!--my best...Thanks. The amount of fervor over the Mayans and 2012 cannot be overstated, but people believe what they will regardless of the facts. And yes, I actually did wait tables for awhile and yes, it gave me an entirely new way of thinking - somewhat slightly afflicted, to be honest. Thanks as always.
I must admit the article got my interest. Sounds scary, but nothing to worry about as far as the future of our earth is concerned. What many people fail to realize is that this earth was placed here by the Supreme Creator, Almighty God, who had a purpose in creating it. Ecclesiates 1:4 tells us, "One generation cometh and another goeth, but the earth abideth forever." Psalms 104:5 adds, "He has foundeth the earth on its established place. It will not be made to totter to time indefinite, even forever." Isaiah 45:18 adds, "He (is) the one who firmly established it, who did not create it simply for nothing, who formed it to be inhabited." In fact he has a wonderful purpose for the future in which as Psalms 37:29 states, "The righteous shall possess the earth and dwell therein forever." So never fear any doomsday prediction of the end of the earth. Our Creator will not permit that to happen. He has the ability to control the forces of nature which by the way he created in the first place, and therefore, to sustain the earth forever according to his purpose. If you have any doubt that the earth was created by God view the documentary film "The Priveleged Planet", which shows how unique our planet is in the universe.Um, no. As every good Pastafarian knows, the planet was put here by the Flying Spaghetti Monster. I suggest you learn the truth before it is too late, and you get no beer in heaven.Thanks for reading and commenting. No fear at all but wonder as to how the earth was going to be destroyed (in this movie) is the reason I went. It is visually stunning and I recommend it highly.
Michael, another astute and thought-provoking writing. I have come to appreciate, very much your insights. I, however, don't feel a great urge to see 2012 --- although, Planet 51 definitely got my attention.Thanks again Michael for another great piece.Planet 51 does look interesting, but I gotta tell ya, the visuals in 2012 are absolutely stunning. I rarely (if ever) recommend movies since movies, as with music, is so subjective, yet in this case I was completely blown away.Thanks for reading and commenting, sir. As always.
I'm sure I'll see it at some point, for the same reason I saw Independence Day. Not because I wanted to see what would happen when aliens descended upon the Earth (*twitch*), but because I like watching explosions and stuff on the big screen. Just like you do, it seems. :)Exactly my point! Independence Day was something, yet there wasn't the sense of reality since it involved aliens. 2012 though, strange as it may sound, seemed more real. Not because of the Mayans (which, as mentioned, are barely talked about) or the wonky science, but because you are shown earthquakes and explosions which are chillingly real. It's kind of morbid, of course, but interesting nonetheless. And no, there are no spaghetti monsters.Thanks for reading and commenting.
Haven't seen the movie, but I might just do it.It's worth it, absolutely. Thanks for commenting.
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