The Top Stories Of The Decade 2010 - 2019
Posted: Friday, January 01, 2010
by Michael Ramzy
delusionthread.com
Another year passes and . . . well, actually, it's just another day, but here we are looking b
ack on the past decade. Time magazine called it the decade from hell, and everywhere you look there are top ten lists (or top 9 of 2009 lists) talking about the past. In the spirit of looking forward, I thought I would list the top stories we will hear about this coming decade.
Before you read this, be aware that this list does not include celebrity scandals or other such tripe. Not that I don't care about celebrities (I don't, actually), but because there are, as they say here in Texas, other fish to fry.
So, here we go:
1) Profiling Comes Of Age: That's right, the TSA or Justice Department decides the time is right to start profiling all Arab-looking individuals boarding airplanes. Of course, at the end of the past decade the individual who strapped a bomb to his leg was neither Arab nor Middle-Eastern, but you know us Americans: we get something in our heads and we can't let go. And no, there is no truth to the rumor that the gate agent said this to the would-be bomber: 'Is that a bomb strapped to your leg or are you just happy to see me?'
2) Obama Wins Second Term: Sure, he's had a rocky start, yet in the end (or actually in 2012) it turns out the Dems have no one else. Certainly not Hillary, and no other candidate looks at all like a candidate. And as we all know, looks play a major part in everything. The Republicans offer up some sacrificial lamb, yet even those who don't like Mr. Obama's policies at least like him in general. That is why Mr. Bush (the younger) won a second term, and why Mr. Obama will win a second one.
3) The Mayans Were Only Kidding: 2012 is the end of the long calendar of the Mayans, and since there is no calendar to replace it (although you would think it just starts all over again, kind of like every other calendar in existence) there are some who believe the universe will end. Sorry, but the only thing that will end is the latest 'doomsday scenario' where life ends everywhere. And speaking of the Mayans, they couldn't forsee their own destruction at the hands of the Spanish, yet they know what's going to happen in 2012? Wow, talk about a stretch. Spielberg doesn't have that kind of imagination . . .
4) The End Of Racism: Since profiling will be coming into vogue (as they say in the backstreets of Paris and London), racism will finally fall by the wayside. Sure, the stereotypes will continue to be reinforced daily, but the days of affirmative action, quotas, the Klan (and Panthers) are numbered. We as Americans know this is true, yet for some reason it has taken us this long to realize it really isn't the color of someone's skin that defines someone, just as it isn't the color of someone's car. And speaking of the backstreets of Paris and London, you should hear what they say! As an aside, you know those skanky-looking models they cherish in Europe? You guessed it: the backstreets.
5) The End Of Political Correctness: Comedians are going to love this one as no more will they have to say horizontally-challenged, vertically-challenged, optically-challenged. Sure, we get it: everyone is challenged to some degree. Still, this will be a nice thing to get rid of since I cannot hold a door open for a lady without being called sexist, and I can not not hold a door open for a lady without being called rude.
6) No Terrorist Attacks In America: This is not going to be due to profiling, this is going to be due to our unbelievable good fortune as a country. It's easy to get in here, of course, yet I don't see anyone bringing in a nuclear weapon or any other mass-destruction device. Sure, we'll hear about some idiot having something in his underwear (make your own joke on that one) or shoes, but we Americans are a vigilant lot. The government, by default, is not, but hopefully they'll learn.
So that's a quick look at what's coming. No, I did not mention the economy or health care because the former is no laughing matter (neither in terrorism, yet I can't say 'shoebomber' without laughing for some reason) and the latter, while it has its humor, is not really going to change things for most people in spite of the right (or ultra-right) saying it will change everything.
Have a happy and safe decade, and remember to always look forward. That's where our eyes are pointing, remember?
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Top-level comments on this article: (10 total)Good article Mike, I enjoyed reading it. Yes we must look forward but we can also look back at our past for our past is what brought us our present and our future. "We can learn a lot from our past mistakes and benefit from them by not doing them all over again.You are absolutely right. Thanks as always for your input. I appreciate it.
Great read, Mike and as always love to read your take on most everything! Loved the spirit!Thanks very much. Thanks also for reading and commenting.
If we forget our past we are destined to repeat it. Hopefully we as a country can become united and forge ahead together. Interesting article.You're right, and we as a country have a habit of forgetting the things that have given us grief. I just wish we wouldn't dwell on it as we tend to. Thanks as always for your comments.
Very Austinish clever, Mr. Ramzy!Thank you sir! Always nice to hear your words.
What's the old saying? "The more things change, the more they stay the same".Exactly right. The above is more of a 'wish-list' than anything, but I agree with you. Kind of like The Who's 'meet the new boss: same as the old boss'. Thanks for reading and commenting.
Well, Michael, you've really got your hopes up there about "the end of racism". Send me the obituary when that monster finally bites the dust. I like your audacity of hope, but then as you call it in your comment, it's your "wish list", so have at it. A humorous piece, though pounding serious points as expected from you. What can I say? You're brilliant writer, my friend. ~mogama~Thanks very much for your kind words. Racism really has to end, and although I think it will go out with a 'whimper', it seems as though its days are truly numbered. Sometimes it seems the future has to drag the present through certain arduous times and events, and I think racism is one of those. Time, as always, will tell.
How about the end of my New York Giants being not sure of whether they're a great of lousy team. I love the Mayan comment. It's like Nostradamus making all his great predictions but he didn't know what they were going to serve for lunch the next day at his favorite restaurant. Thanks for the heads up, Ramzadamus.And thanks for the comments. Yeah, we'll hear about the Mayans (and Nostradamus) until the end of 2012, then we'll hear about the asteroid cruising toward us, then we'll hear about . . . something else. As to your Giants, I can't help you there! Thanks for reading and commenting.
Funny stuff, Michael!It wasn't funny, though, when those goobers made my son take his shoes off in Atlanta. I just knew he would be arrested for gassing the place.Great job, SIr!I wonder if we're going to have to take our pants off next? Funny how we have to take our shoes off, yet many (some without proper passports) are given a pass. Of course the system is fair, and of course the TSA knows what it's doing.Sure they do. Why not use these scanners everyone is talking about and be done with it? How much more invasive can they be than removing your clothes?Thanks as always, Ken.
Michael:A most interesting article. I really hope that one of your "future calls" does not come to pass... that Obama is re-elected. With the nasty comments he has made about white folk and his propounding on his racial attitudes formed in early childhood, plus the sad condition of the United States as of this writing, I really hope he is not re-elected. Maybe you can predict or at least foresee an end to Democratic moronism and the stand-still Democratic players who try to wring the life out of this country (this does not mean I'm a Republican). Keep writing...I wish I could actually predict the future, but of course I cannot. Democratic moronism is something that seems ingrained in the Democratic party. For their part, the Republicans have some serious problems of their own. Sure, Mr. Obama has had some questionable attitudes, and perhaps still does, yet as with all politicians you really have to look at actions. There are some who still think he's not American, and some who think he's trying to take the Constitution and throw it in the trash. Conversely, there are those who find no fault in anything he does. These are the true party-hacks, who think the 'team' is more important than the country. The Republicans had the same thinking with Mr. Bush, that no matter what he did he was right because he was Republican.Remember also, Mr. Bush had similar problems in that he had a 'storied' youth and many thought he was trying (through Mr. Cheney) to grab too much power. The problem with politicians is that they gain name familarity which assures them re-election. Look at Mr. Kennedy, who did his best work at the end of his career, or Mr. Reid or Ms. Pelosi, who have done absolutely nothing for the best interest of the country as a whole: they are re-elected because people know their name. When Mr. Obama runs for re-election, it will be familiarity over anything else (the devil you know attitude).Sure, he's had some missteps, yet I still believe he is trying to do what's best for the country as a whole. As always, though, time will tell. Thanks for commenting.
Great article Michael,Your words about the Mayans were my first laugh of the day. Thanks for that one because so much of what I happened to read this morning was so full of bickering or sadness or even hate that I needed a reprieve.You say it and you say it well.Thanks very much. I appreciate your comments and I'll always choose laughter over sadness. Thanks again!
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