How Did Jack And Jill Ever Fetch That Pail Of Water?
Posted: Tuesday, August 31, 2010
by Michael Ramzy
delusionthread.com
I walked into the coffee shop for my weekly coffee and noticed an old friend of mine sitting in the corner, writing. He wasn't really a writer, more of a poser, yet I always try to give him the benefit of the doubt. He had a habit of overthinking everything, which is death to a writer.
This morning he saw me and waved me over.
"Good morning," I said. "What's up?"
"Good luck," I replied, moving away. He stopped me.
"Let me ask you something, Mike. You write, right?"
"Sometimes."
"Have you ever had a really great idea and just had to get it on paper?"
"Sure."
"Well, I'm reimagining Jack and Jill."
"Reimagining?" I asked. What the . . .
"Sure. Why not?"
"Um, okay. Why not." I started to move away again, and once again he stopped me. "Blank and Blank went up the hill -"
"Wait a minute," I said, interrupting him. Obviously he was overthinking again, this time with the 'reimagining'. It was the names, of course. I decided to have some fun. "You can't start it like that."
"Why not? That's how it starts, isn't it? Well, I gotta put in Jack and Jill, I guess, but I don't know. This is a reimagining."
"Sure it is. But think about it. Jack and Jill? Doesn't that sound too . . . exclusionary?"
"What?"
"Too Anglo-Saxon." He looked at me strangely. "Too white," I added, trying not to laugh.
"Oh, you're right. Damn. I can't do it that way."
"Yeah," I said, nodding. "Gotta try some other names. Something neutral."
"How about Jamaal and -"
"No, see, that's going too far the other way."
"Pedro?"
"Exclusionary."
"How about William and Mary? Those are pretty neutral names. In fact, I know many African-Americans with those names."
"Okay, you're going to slant this toward African-Americans?"
"Why not?"
"Well, that's also exclusionary. And then you have two African-Americans fetch a pail of water? Fetch?"
"Oh, right."
"Good luck with that," I said. "Let me know when the mob arrives at your doorstep." I started to move away again. Again, he stopped me.
"How about the name John? That's neutral, and that way it isn't slanted toward any one group."
"John?"
"Yes."
"Exclusionary."
"How? He was one of the guys with Jesus! He wrote a Gospel! How can that be exclusionary?"
"Okay, first of all, it excludes all other religions. Second, 'one of the guys with Jesus' had a name of 'John'? In the Middle East? John? Really?" I was having too much fun to stop now, even though in the back of my mind was this giant stop sign. The front of my mind, of course, had the pedal to the metal.
"Well hell, how can I write this reimagining? How?"
"Why not just come up with something original?"
"Original?"
"Sure. That way, you offend no one and you are honest with yourself. Trying to please everyone really is offensive to all, you know? It's too . . . condescending."
"But I don't want anyone to get mad."
"People will get mad regardless. Why? Because some people look for something to be mad or angry about. Some people go out of their way to say this is wrong or that is bad just to have something to do."
"How do you know?"
"Why do you think we have a 24 hour news-cycle? All that airtime has to be filled with something."
"But how did Jack and Jill ever fetch that pail of water?"
I smiled at this poser, who had a habit - as do many - of overthinking everything, then I answered:
"They went up the hill."
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Top-level comments on this article: (10 total)Great! Great insight into our continually going outwards towards others faults instead of seeing what we ourselves are. Nothing changes until that happens. Poor Obama - can't take a pee without someone criticizing him. Maybe I'll vote for him again just because of the unfair treatment he's getting.Thanks, sir. I was thinking about cable news (that 24-hour news cycle) and this just came out. Everyone is too busy blaming and no one spends time looking within. Sad, it is. Thanks as always.
Great article MichaelReminds me of the song 'Garden Party." The verse "You can't please everyone, so you got to please yourself" comes to mind. People are so mired in the superficial that they are unable to see the important. An issue that the politicos love. Good for their individual and collective agendas. Keeps us occupied with the dogmatised issues while the wolves make off with the whole hen house.Your friends wish to 'remake' Jack and Jill mirrors this superficiality that keeps us in the past, rehashing, instead of seeking brand new stories that we create ourselves, instead of fairy tales of the past.BlessingsYour last line says it all and is the point of this story. Very astute. Thanks for reading and commenting.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water, Jack fell down and...? how does the rest of that jingle go?Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Thanks, sir, for reading and commenting.
Ha! Oh Michael thank you for the laugh. Your comments were absolute perfection.GraceThank you as always for the comments. I appreciate it.
Got a little bit of a mean streak in you, dooon't you Michael? Nice read.Who me? Thanks for reading and commenting.
This is what I got out of your article, Michael, though I guess it wasn't your main point: that if you want to write something, don't wait for somebody else's permission, just do it!Exactly right. Write for yourself, not to try to impress. Thanks for the read and comment.
You crack me up. What you say is a super-highway over the guys head and he didn't have a clue. This is priceless.Thanks very much. He will probably be a world-famous author some day. Not good, mind you, just famous.
What do you mean by saying that writers over-analyze?!The obvious absurdity of climbing “up the hill to fetch a pail of water” has escaped the attention of your readers, no matter how eudite.Water runs downhill and this effect of gravity on water would not have escaped our pragmatic duo who dealt with the daily task of fetching water as a matter of survival.These wise young children would have greeted the first line of this apparent nonsense rhyme with immediate mirth.(wink)PaulVery well said/analyzed! Thanks so much for reading and commenting.Very well said/analyzed! Thanks so much for reading and commenting.
it was all about inertia and wanting that pail of water in the first placeAgreed! Thanks for the comment.
Humorous...Thanks for the laugh...keep it up...Regards...CPThanks very much.
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